Lifeguard Training

My daughter is growing up. I sat at her swim lesson this week with a book, but ended up just watching her through the glass. It is unbelievable. She is the kid I never thought she would be. When I am with her, watching her from afar do something on her own, I try to…

You’re Missing It

One morning recently, I was drinking coffee alone and enjoying the quiet when my daughter Ellie came in and asked me for some ice water. Regular water just won’t do for her anymore; she turns her nose up unless she can hear the ice clanging around in the cup. I got up and pulled a…

Success

My husband was asked to speak at my son’s elementary school this year for career day. I was a little jealous that what I do all day every day is nothing that anyone wants to hear about, especially kids, but also wondered how many kindergarteners would care to hear from a guy in a stuffy…

Anxiety + Hope

“Don’t you have a kid with something wrong with it?” I was asked this week by a person I hadn’t seen in a while.

I wanted to roll my eyes and leave while waving my middle finger in the air, but I caught myself.

Christmas Caroling

A few months ago, my husband told the younger two kids that Santa would bring them a real dog if they started using the potty. A switch flipped in the youngest’s head and he has been diaper free – except for nap and bedtime – ever since. Ellie is still working on it, but is…

Seasons change

The weather turned this weekend, and we had our first cold snap. Luckily my mom always sends one outfit per kid right before each season change just so I am not caught off guard. Their clothes were fine for the lower temperatures, but one warm jacket for one cold August Benjamin Honaker was lacking.  …

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Ant Bed

I have been washing the same load of laundry for two days. The first time I loaded all of that dirty laundry in the washing machine, I had no idea I would forget to put it in the dryer two times yesterday and three times today. I started the load as a woman full of…

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Them and Us

“We’ve got one of them at home,” a man I had never met told me while Ellie and I were waiting for a haircut one sunny afternoon. That, or a slight variation of that, is something I have heard many times. It is the honest truth when I say I can’t take Ellie anywhere without…

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Below Average

At 3 a.m. about three weeks ago, I realized that my daughter, Ellie, is 4 years old. Next year she will be 5 years old. At 5 years old, she will be old enough to start kindergarten. I’ve been wondering how this happened ever since. “Sometimes I really don’t like being Ellie’s mom,” I said…

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Best-Case Scenario

“Once she was born I was never not afraid,” said writer Joan Didion about her daughter. Children make me nervous. All of them, and they always have. Even my own. One, out of all of the children in the world, terrifies me. She strikes a physical fear reaction in my body. Because of her, I…

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