Lifeguard Training

My daughter is growing up. I sat at her swim lesson this week with a book, but ended up just watching her through the glass. It is unbelievable. She is the kid I never thought she would be. When I am with her, watching her from afar do something on her own, I try to…

Little Girl Hearts

“Do lizards have hearts?” My youngest kid is very curious about the most random things, and so the “yes” I said in reply came out with a smidge of apprehension. I never know what follow ups will come next from him.    Turns out, the questions were pretty easy to answer: “Do buildings have hearts?”…

Best-Case Scenario

“Once she was born I was never not afraid,” said writer Joan Didion about her daughter. Children make me nervous. All of them, and they always have. Even my own. One, out of all of the children in the world, terrifies me. She strikes a physical fear reaction in my body. Because of her, I…

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Best Laid Plans

“What are we going to do today?” is usually one of the first things out of my youngest son August’s mouth every morning. I know it is my fault. I am a planner and far too often set the tone of the day with a schedule. Already, he is most comfortable when he knows what…

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A week in the life

What does a mother do in the week leading up to her 4-year-old daughter’s open-heart surgery? She spends a lot of time talking to the air. There is a constant string of dialogue in her mind, with God or anyone else up there who might be listening, about helping her to just do the next…

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High Dive

The first time I jumped off the high-dive in the deep end at the city pool, it was a big deal. This small-town, summer rite of passage separated the scaredy cat babies from the confident kids, and I was definitely a scaredy cat. My family didn’t get a membership to the community pool until I…

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The Last Time

My husband asked me to go outside and look at the moon with him last night. Our oldest son got a telescope for Christmas last year and we like to set it up in the front yard and look up at the sky at night. Most nights when we have finished the bedtime rush with…

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A Picture’s Worth

“Where is Gus?” Jack asked when he got in the car after school this week. “He’s home with your dad. Ellie and I just finished at her doctor’s appointment, and I didn’t have time to go get him before it was time to pick you up from school,” I said. He looked over the edge…

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Heart Hero: The Extraordinary Abby

I can’t stop thinking of Abby Ellis this week.

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Forget to Forgive

I certainly don’t find myself in 2022 with answers, but my focus is shifting. Instead of being mad that no one has sent the lifeboat to save me, I realize that the real question is more about how I ended up in that deep of water by myself in the first place.

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