Hand Pile

I remember spending time with only one of my grandparents. My mother’s mother. I remember what her house smelled like. I remember riding in her car with the windows down. I remember how cool the linoleum tile floor in her kitchen was that time she and I were under her long wooden table trying to…

Forget to Forgive

I certainly don’t find myself in 2022 with answers, but my focus is shifting. Instead of being mad that no one has sent the lifeboat to save me, I realize that the real question is more about how I ended up in that deep of water by myself in the first place.

Pulling it all together

I pulled my life together enough to mail Christmas cards this year. A Black Friday deal in my email inbox caught me at just the right moment, and I was able to make it happen for the first time in my whole life. I forced the kids to get dressed for a picture – what…

Balance

Our dishwasher died the week of Thanksgiving. I knew it was sick; it had been for a long time. After some surgery and nursing, I was able to use the machine to clean the last of the dishes from our big dinner, but on Black Friday, it finally gave up the ghost. My husband, Ben,…

Moving the Goalposts

Is it giving up on the goal or is it assessing what I have actually accomplished?

Minimizing Risk

This week, the cardiologist recommended that we all hunker in again, including keeping the kids home from school. With our daughter Ellie’s track record – three hospitalizations for pneumonia this summer alone – he thinks that the odds are not in her favor if she catches any respiratory virus and that she would likely need…

Answering the tough questions

On a recent Sunday morning, I was driving home from walking with a friend when I called my husband. I wanted to see if he and the kids wanted to get ready to go out for a stroll around the neighborhood when I got there. I had just heard on the radio that it was…

The Teacher

Before she was born, I spent a lot of time looking at her 3D ultrasound photos trying to determine whether or not she would look like she had Down syndrome when she was born. I hoped and prayed that she would be spared the tell-tale almond-shaped eyes, flattened face, short neck and protruding tongue. The…

Blooming Weeds

Ellie was on her stomach in the middle of the kitchen floor, and I had stepped over her a hundred times. Our small, galley kitchen is a favorite play place for all of the kids, and the obstacle course they create with their bodies while I am cooking supper is nothing new. Her knees were…