Do more, be more?

My husband has been on me for a while to do less. He says it will allow me to be more.


“But right is not real, and should is a cage.” Glennon Doyle, Untamed I lost my car keys. I don’t do things like that. Everything has a place and I always put things back in their place. I know where everything in our house is hiding. Ben and the kids lose their stuff. Not me….

A Study of Contradiction

When Jack was a baby, I rocked him every night before bed while he drank his milk. Ben read to us chapters from novels like The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Count of Monte Cristo and did his best to ignore my crying. It never failed; I always got teary-eyed as Jack rested against…

Three of them

“You know, pretty soon there will be three of them on scooters.” Ben said these words to me about a month ago and they have haunted me ever since. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of this sooner, but I am “going to have three of them” doing any number of things at the…

Bad Mommy

“You’re a bad mommy,” Jack said during lunch. “You always do these bad things.” Gus was screaming in my arms because I wouldn’t let him suck his thumb and eat at the same time. Ellie had bitten my finger so hard that it bled because I wouldn’t let her put chalk in her mouth. Jack…

Defining Chaos

August Benjamin joined our family on the day after Christmas. The holidays were a blur. The last month has been a blur. What did I even do five minutes ago? The Honaker house is a disaster these days. There is always a pile of laundry on the couch. The dishwasher always needs to be unloaded….

Sitting Still

There was a big thud at the bottom of the playground slide. “You better watch out! You could have been killed,” the boy yells at Jack, who had been playing at the bottom of the slide. “I couldn’t be killed. I was picking up rocks,” Jack says to the older one, standing so they are…